Final Reflections on ASKing About the Bosnian War

There were so many incredible components of our Balkans trip that I could (and have been) reflect on each for days - from the physical challenges of the outdoor component, to the wonderful new friendships formed, to the sense of PS family that never ceases to amaze me, to my own personal development in many ways - but I am going to keep this blog post focused on the ASK component of the trip, and the struggle of searching for an explanation or answers to questions that simply cannot be answered - can only be contemplated and discussed, but that in and of itself is valuable enough.

“How do you knit back together a society when those primarily responsible for tearing it apart don’t believe they did anything wrong?” – When I read this quote in a New York Times magazine article about the war in Bosnia published coincidentally two weeks after our return from the trip, reading this extremely relevant article began to help me pull together and process so many of the facts, thoughts, and feelings that I had observed throughout our time in the Balkans.  (The article can be found here: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/05/29/magazine/srebrenica-life-in-the-valley-of-death.html?ref=magazine).

What struck me most in all of what I learned in the Balkans was the dividing sense of blame placed on each side of those who fought in this war.  Both sides, the Bosnians and the Serbs, are quick to voice and publicize differing accounts of the war and who is to blame, or who should be considered the “bad guys.”  By being able to experience both countries on this trip (albeit, a much briefer experience in Serbia), the concept of seeing two sides of a conflict and having no true “good” and “bad” sides was a recurring theme. 

In Bosnia, the Srebrenica museum was heart-wrenching and educating, yet quick to make Serbians out to be the true perpetrators of the war.  The atrocities committed were inexcusable, no doubt, yet I was acutely aware that the museum presented a very one-sided view of what had happened.  This is not a bad thing, it seems natural for one country to present history in a way that shines light on their positive acts and the negative acts committed on them by other countries that they overcame.  Countries all over the world have been doing this for centuries – just look at the American history lessons that we are taught in grade school. 

In Serbia, I was lucky enough to have an enlightening conversation with Angela’s uncle at dinner.  He told me all about the attacks on Serbia by all of the larger countries around the world (when the U.S. and others stepped in the end the war).  From his point of view, as he repeatedly told me with extreme passion and defensiveness, the large and powerful countries ganged up on and beat up his small country in an inexcusable manner.  This viewpoint was yet another very one-sided view of what had happened, contrasting to the Bosnian Srebrenica museum. 

The New York Times article brought this theme back to my reflection of the trip, with accounts of the devastating atrocities in Srebrenica and throughout Bosnia that made Serbs out to be the “bad guys,” and with contrasting accounts from Serbs who deny many of the crimes that Bosnians place on Serbs – claiming they never happened or that Bosnians killed equally as many Serbs yet will never admit it.

All of this opened my eyes to the defensive placing of blame onto other parties that even in today’s modern, globalized world is as inherent to human nature as breathing.  “Saving face” was a concept I repeatedly learned about Chinese culture when I studied the language (and saw exemplified in the Beijing Olympic opening ceremonies scandal of the less attractive little girl singing from behind stage)  – the concept of wanting to protect one’s honor by always showing the side of the story that paints yourself or your country in the best light possible.  People do this everyday in little ways, countries do it constantly in the writing of their own history. 

It is not something we should strive to do or be proud of, but I don’t think it is such a terrible thing either (and realistically, it is something that is never going to chance).  But it is crucial that we be aware of the fact that we do this.  As one Serbian woman quoted in the article said, “If we are ever to have peace here, we must stop trying to place blame on one side or the other and recognize that both sides suffered.”  This holds true to all of us, far beyond the extent of the war in the Balkans, and is something that, while I know I cannot solve or fix, I will be increasingly aware of going forward in my life.  The idea of having a heightened awareness of how things affect two sides of any situation and from this, increasing your compassion for others even when you see them as enemies. 

Compassion is, at the heart, the real lesson I think I have learned from this trip, and the goal of living it out in small ways everyday to try to spread a better way of treating and viewing others to one day hopefully become a more compassionate and understanding society.