If I'm being totally honest, I did not expect this ASK trip to be as involved and student-led as it has proven to be over these past few weeks. When I applied, I thought that it was going to be similar to the expeditions that we freshmen went on this past summer, where the primary goals were to acclimate the members in our PS class with one another and foster an organic method of bonding. While I'm sure that plenty of bonding will be occurring throughout this trip, I have realized that the major focus is to become more aware of the world around us and to use our leadership skills to plan and execute an incredible adventure. Initially, this was a very intimidating task for me. In high school, I was accustomed to being the "smart girl" that knew all there was to know about school related topics, including history and geography. I learned exactly what I needed to learn in order to make As on my tests, and then basically forgot about the material when it was over. When I got to Tech, I realized that I no longer was the smartest girl in school and that some people learned about topics that genuinely interested them, not just things that would get them good grades. This was an entirely foreign concept to me, and part of the reason why the Balkans trip is so intimidating for me right now. I feel like everyone has so much more background knowledge on the subject and the area's history, while I'm struggling to just remember where the Balkans are.
I have found a lot of the material that we've read to be emotionally stirring and somewhat upsetting. To see that there were such different reactions and stories about the same exact conflict depending on what perspective they were told from really bothered me. I'm the type on person who likes to be blunt and know exactly what is going on, and in the Timeline article especially, it was very difficult to figure out what was true and what was being exaggerated. I like to think that everyone was being completely honest, but judging by the different responses to the same event, I could see that this was not possible.
I by no means want to come off as sounding naive and uneducated, but I do feel as though I am much less cultured than my peers and not as familiar with the Balkans conflicts. However, this is exactly why I am so excited about this ASK trip! It's giving me the chance to completely immerse myself in not only an area that I'm unfamiliar with, but an activity that I have no idea how to handle. I am learning about an area that I have absolutely no prior knowledge about and that I unfortunately never planned on learning about. I now have the opportunity to expand my breadth of knowledge, and I'm so excited to see what that will look like in the upcoming months!
Just happened to read this since it was the first one on the page, but just to let you in on a little secret from the "old folks": at some point or another, we all felt just as lost/confused/disadvantaged as you! In fact, some of us still do, we've just gotten lots better at hiding it over the course of four years. As you've alluded, the best way to learn these sorts of things is to, quite simply, jump right in. You've made some great points in our discussions, so keep it up! Don't be afraid to not know the answers, so long as you're asking the right questions!
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